Senior citizens are the new millennials. Wait until you see why.
I’ve known that I’ve been different since I was a little kid. I never really understood it. It was just something I felt.
In middle school, while other kids were listening to No Doubt and NSync, I was listening to Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin.
In high school, I was hanging out with college kids and adults and was constantly told I’m an “old soul”.
In college, I wasn’t going on dates – I was eating them. (Granted they were wrapped in bacon – but they were still dates, damnit.)
Then, one day, it hit me. I’m not a millennial. I’m a senior citizen.
I’m a trans man. Trans-age.
Before you say it, I know…I know. Biologically I’m not a senior. But that’s how I identify.
Every morning, I go into work where I run a business in a state of liberals. I feel like I’m 82.
My personal trainer looks like a black version of Lou Ferrigno and he makes me feel like I’m about 90.
I listen to business news. I drive a Chevy friggin’ Impala.
My friends, I’m a senior citizen trapped in a millennial’s body.
Trans-age is something you might have witnessed before without knowing what it was.
Perhaps it was the time you saw the 55-year-old woman walking around in booty shorts.
Or the 62-year-old with a 20-year-old in the passenger seat of his brand new Corvette.
All are prime examples of people who are trans-age.
One could argue we’ve all struggled with our identity. Dads of toddlers who have vomit on their shirts and think the young co-eds are checking them out. No, you’re not 21 any more.
Young co-eds who think the 50-year-old sugar daddies are interested in them for their maturity.
Little boys who wear their dads’ ties.
Old men who wear speedos.
In some way, shape or form, many of us are struggling with our identity. Our age identity.
Now that I know who I am…who I TRULY am…I’ve embraced it.
Last week, I went on the road to a bunch of drive-thru restaurants. I asked them for my senior discount. And you may be surprised to see how they responded. You can watch the video here.
What can I say? Seniors are the new millennials.